MARRIED BUT EMOTIONALLY DIVORCED

I read this somewhere so i decided to share it with you guyz. It is a TRUE STORY. It is a bit long but i did not want to cut anything out as its not my story. Here goes (excuse the typos):

Beatrice had always desired a loving relationship with her husband; that enviable relationship that is always common between campus sweethearts. "I have always longed for a loving husband & that was what mattered to me first before considering whether his wallet was fat or not", she began this day, looking worried. She actually spoke softly fighting back tears.


She said that when Okechukwu married her, she thought that she had finally got her wish. "He was all i had, my love, my life, the best thing that ever happened to me, or so i presumed. I wanted nothing else in the world then but him. I could remember the days when he used to call me on the phone & i would shout "Okey" in a loud voice. My mother would run out of her bedroom to warn me to lower my voice so that my strict father would not beat the living day light out of me, for calling a boy's name excitedly."

That goes to show how madly in love i was with Okechukwu. "Yeas i madly in love with him & all i wanted was to get married to my young & handsome lawyer whom i met as a jambite. I looked forward to the day when we would march down the aisle. We dated for 8 good years. I eventually joined okey, as i fondly called him on the same campus. He was 2 years ahead of me."

Beatrice's dream materialised when Okey paid her bride price. "I will never forget the comment my uncle's wife made on the day of my traditional wedding; "you have been all smiles", she remarked.

Beatrice was indeed glowing, very radiant & beautiful in her traditional attire. "I was barely 23 & ripe for marriage. Ripe to be Okey's wife. But i should have known better. the frown on my would be mother in-laws face was strong enough to kill a fly. She sulked as if i forced her son to ask for my hand in marriage. Maybe that was a good sign that all would not be well eventually.

The storm in Beatrice & Okey's marriage started as early as the time they were mean to be honeymooning. "That was when the realities of marriage dawned on me. i wanted to cal my poor mother but i opted not to. Mama was hypertensive. Such news would worsen her health & condition, & a divorce was inconcieviable & a taboo. I could remember her advising me that no matter what hapenned in my marriage, i should stay put & endure it. Her words still ring a bell. "Nne, no matter what happens to you, no matter how bad you are treated by your husband, stay in your marriage, don't leave. This is because such problems do fizzle out in the end. Know that with patience, one would overcome whatever matrimonial problem a woman may have. Every problem has an expiry date."

The first blow the marriage had was caused by Beatricce's in-laws, the elder sister of her husband. "I was called names but the worst happened when my husbdna's elder sister, whom i thought was the only one that liked me in the family also turned against me. She wrote to me & called me names. She never knew that her brother , my husband lost his job few months after our marriage, so that affected their monthly allowance. And without asking what exactly happened, they concluded i told him to stop the allowance."

That made me cry several times as okey did not tell his people the actual position of things. As if that wasn't enough, my husband sided with his people & began to see me as someone who brough ill luck to his house. "He reminded me how i brought the spirit of bad luck to his house & he was sacked from work. There was no name i wasn't called by the same man who told me he loved me & would do anything to make me happy as long as i remained as his wife.

After 7 years, the marriage became unbearable. Her husband made her his punching bag. "He got a job that kept him busy all day. I never complained about that but what hurt me was the fact that he would come home drunk & would beat me up mercilessly at the slightest provocation. Apart from his drinking habit, i also discovered that i had lost my husband to his bevy of girlfreinds & mistresses. If i dared ask him whether he was seeing other women, that would result in another punch. I was afraid of asking questions, afraid of even discussing with hi mas a woman would with her husband. My mind had flashed back repeatedly to that frown on my mother in-laws face on the day of my traditional wedding. Maybe the poor woman foresaw what i was going to suffer in her son's house. If i had known better, i wouldn't have found myself in this hell."

A day came when Beatrice confronted him & gave him a piece of her mind, but something terrible happened immediatley after that. FIND OUT NEXT WEEK.

NAIJA NEWS IN PICS

Loads of stuff have been happening in naija lately. I decided to bring you guyz the news in pics cos i know that it would take me forever to write down everything that has been going on. I have also included some pics of current " SUN GIRLS". To view more pictures of other "SUN GIRLS", visit www.sunnewsonline.com

The Nigerian Police Force have changed their Uniform from the all black to blue and black. Personally, i don't see how changing the uniform of the policemen would improve their performance & stop them collaborating with robbers. Instead of our president (Obasanjo) spending money on new uniforms, why not retain the old ones & use the money he used to get the new ones to pay the Police men so that the crime rate will go down in nigeria? I'm not impressed at all.

Governor Donald Duke has launched the Tinapa Project. The pic above is from the launching. The project includes a Tinapa Studio where i heard films can be made. As usual Obasanjo was there, with his big fat stomach. The man has the whole of naija in his belly.

Governor Donald Duke of Cross River state has really done alot. First he built the Obudu Cattle Ranch which from what i hear is amazing, & then this. I know of course he would be pocketing a bit of money but at least he as done a lot of things that we Nigerians would remember him for. I think he is a good example to most Governors in naija.

The picture above shows an unidentified Local Government official collecting Fuel as he tries to locate the point where a pipeline was vandalized in Lagos. He dosen't look like a local government officail right? Well, the picture shows fuel pipeline investigation, naija style!

The picture above shows Miss Goodnews Udom who is the reigning Miss Akwa Ibom & Miss Lacasera. What do they mean by Miss Lacasera? From what i heard, there is a drink in naija called Lacasera. Is she the queen of the drink or what? Well, the girl said that she goes everywhere with bodyguards because she gets "TOO MUCH" (mark i wrote it in capital letters) attention from guys. Who does she think she is? Britney spears????? Isn't it enough that we have to endure the fact that she is Miss Lacasera?????

This picture shows the girls dormitory at Obafemi Awolowo University (OAU). The dormitories have been in the news alot this days because the girls have to deal with a lot of sexual harrasment & rape from most of the guys. I feel very sorry for them. According to the news, loads of the girls have been attacked lately.

The girl in the pink top is looking at the camera as if she is going to beat up the photograper or something. The girls also live in dirty surroundings as you can see from the picture. I'm sure rats make a big part of the room furniture.

The guy in the picture above is a soldier who murdered another guy over N10 (10 naira). He entered a bus in Lagos and refused to pay the N40 bus fare because he was a soldier. The conductor of the bus told him he had to pay. The guy then payed N30 & decided not to pay the rest. An argument ensued & the soldier slapped the conductor. One of the passengers in the bus told him that he had no right to slap the conductor just because he (the conductor) told him to pay N10. The soldier turned on the passenger & stabbed him to death. Thats naija for you. Lawless!

This is a picture of today's Sun Girl. What's with the background? & didn't anyone tell her that ankle boots are not meant to be worn with the sort of dress she's wearing??? Someone call the Fashion Police!!!!

The picture above shows another Sun Girl. She's cute, don't you guys think???? I have nothing bad to say. Who agrees with me?

Ok, this is another Sun Girl. I've been trying to understand why her hands are up there then i got a brain wave! Maybe she's about to do the Matrix! What do you guys think?

This picture is just sad. This man's wife was killed by young islamists in Gombe state. I first caught the story on Chioma's blog so i checked up on it more on the internet. His wife was a teacher in a school. During an Islamic Exam test, she was the one invigilating the exam. She caught 2 boys who were cheating. One of the boys wrote an Islamic writing from the Quaran on a paper & was passing it to another boy when she caught them. The took the paper away from them and threw it away. After the exam, the boys & the class started chasing her around the school saying she descredited to Quaran. The killed her & burnt her body. She left behind her husband, a 3 yr old son & and also a 10 month old baby (with the father in the Picture). May her soul Rest In Peace. Amen.

NEW MONTH EQUALS NEW THINGS!

Its a new month!! April here i come.I have prayed that this month would be a good one for me. I have to admit, January wasn't a very great month for me. Apart from the fact that i was ill on the 1st of January (sad), that wasn't the only thing that got messed up for me. Loads of stuff has been happening that i am not happy about. I know that we cannot control the daily happenings in our life, but we are in control of our destiny (i believe this strongly) so things will definetely change for me (for the better) by the grace of God.
I just wanted to say a big "THANK YOU" to my fellow bloggers for their words of encouragement. I don't really know you guyz but i feel like i know you well already. I opened this blog out of boredorm, but now things have changed. I was feeling a bit down and that was why i commented on being unappreciated. I think one day, i would bring myself to explain what i meant by that, but i do feel better now (except from the fact that i think i'm getting a fever).
This are my prayers this month:
1) I pray that i don't fall ill cos i feel like i'm about to get a fever (Loads of headaches)
2) I pray someone suprises me in a good way this month (i've never had a suprise before)
3) I pray my dad travels soon
4) I pray he (my dad) buys me a new phone
5) I pray i see the people i have missed alot soon enough
6) I pray i catch up with my school work
7) I pray that the one thing i have been wanting will happen
8) I pray i stop "feeling" altogether
9) I pray i will be "WHOLE" someday
10) I pray that i am more appreciated this month

Well, thats what i have asked God to do in my life this month. When any of those things i have prayed for happens, i will inform you guyz. I hope you guyz have a great month as well.
Onto something else. I heard a story from one of my freinds about some Arab singer called Zekra. Well, according to my freind, this woman was killed in 2003 by her husband. Apparently, she was very popular in the Arab music scene. Well the story goes that she got married to some guy like that. She was already very popular when she married the guy. Enewayz, the bobo was very jealous of her music career, & he banned her from having guyz in her videos. He infact took control on the directing of her videos.
One day, i guess he got so jealous that he took a gun & pumped 26 bullets into her, 22 bullets into her secretary & 18 into her manager. He then shot himself. The woman was from Tunisia and he (her husband) was Egyptian.
I just felt that i had to share this story with you guyz. Its such a shame. I don't know how a man can do that to his own wife. He shot her 26 times!!! i don't get it. Did he hate her, or love her too much, or what???? What made him do it????

LIFE OF A BLOGGER

Hope you guyz are all having a great weekend. I really don't have anything to talk about so i haven't written anything since my last post. My life has been so boring lately. Nothing to do. Just lazing about. Oh yeah, i also wanted to say thank you to all of you guyz who keep visiting my blog & also thank you to the ones who left their comments on the issues i have discussed in my posts.

Like i was saying, nothing interesting has been going on in my life so there is nothing for me to blog about. I heard from someone that there is a show called "NIGERIA'S NEXT TOP MODEL"which would come on sometime in April. I was suprised. All i had to say was "mehn, we are really trying oh!" First we had Big brother, then Idols West Africa, & then this. I'm sure there has been other shows its just that i've not heard about them. I'm a bit slow in getting current news (i think almost everyone knows about the show already except me. As usual) cos im in a different world altogether. Well, i checked on the net for the details about the show & all, and i saw the pics of the girls. I looked at the pics of the girls for a full 10mins. The girls were not ugly, but i have to say, they are not pretty either. Enewayz, here are the pics:

The picture above is way better than the one below. Or don't you guyz think so? In the one below, they look like all those Nigerian masquerades (forgive me if the spelling is wrong). While in the picture above, they look more like human beings.

Well, i checked & i think there is nothing else that i'm missing. If there is, pls someone inform me. There is nothing for me to do to make my life interesting at the moment. I feel lost & empty. Actually the word is i feel BROKEN & UNAPPRECIATED......................

I wish i could just erase all the thoughts from my head & make it all go away...................Wish my dreams would come true................................ most importantly i want to be more APPRECIATED.

Hope you guyz never have to feel this way. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

RACISM ( WHY US?)

One day, my dad called me & my elder sis & told us we were going to study abroad, i was scared (not because i have never been abroad before) cos he said we were to complete our studies there. I had freinds in naija (my life was in naija) so i was not happy to leave them but i had no choice. I never knew i would have to deal with racism. My journey from one country to another started from there. The 2 countries were i recieved the most racist abuses was England & Dubai. Iwill talk about my experiences one by one.

EXPERIENCE OF RACISM IN THE UK
Me & my sis went to a girls school in Plymouth Devon. The first thing i noticed when i got there was the fact that there were hardly any black people at all in Plymouth. In my school, there were just 8 black people (including myself & my sis). We were 7 nigerians & a girl from London. Naturally, as we were the only blacks in the school (there were mostly chinese & white girls) we stuck together. But the racism started from the school itself. From the woman that called herself our headmistress.
First, we (the blacks) we banned from hanging together cos the headmistress (i'll call her Ms Short) said that the teachers & other students complained that we were "intimidating" them by hanging together. We were told that if we were seen together, we will be suspended. That was just the beginning. We all lived in the school dormz, so we were suprised when one of our matrons resigned. She said Ms Short gave her a racist order to carry out against the black students.
Ms Short hated everything about us. She would scream at us & when we tried to talk, she would be like "SHUT UP, DNT TALK WHEN IM TALKING", but when the white girls wanted to speak, she would let them. This was racism in the school. Lets talk about outside the school now.
One day, i was walking to town to get something for school & some guyz in a car sped past me & threw coke on me while shouting "FREAK! GO BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY". I was so upset, i went back to the dormz. All this went on for a while. I was in Plymouth for 2yrs.
Later on, we complained to my dad, he told us to leave plymouth & we moved to London. I heard that the other girls left the school & im also happy to say that Ms Short lost her job. Im also happy to say that since i moved to London, i have never experienced racism.

EXPERIENCE OF RACISM IN DUBAI
Some people would ask me, "what were you doing in dubai?" Well, my dad said i needed a change so i went to live in dubai. Just me this time round cos my family stayed in London (they later moved to london). I started Uni there. Dubai is a very beautiful city & they have loads of international uni's in Knowledge Village (KV) like Middlesex Uni. Yes Middlesex has a branch in Dubai.
Enewayz, to continue with my story,i was in dubai, Loving the atmosphere & sky scraper buildings unlike the old buildings in London, i didnt know they would be worse than the people in Plymouth.
In the UAE (United Arab Emirates) it is almost impossible to get a job. Why? Because you are black. They prefer people who speak Arabic or white people. We blacks are taken as freaks. In the UAE the worst problems facing the black woman is the Arab men. Over there, their most of their women wear "Sheila & Abaya". Im sure you guyz know what im talking about. You know the black thing the women wear & cover their face with it? Thats it. So when the men see you are not wearing the Abaya, they immediately take you as a prostitute. They follow you everywhere while screaming "HOW MUCH?" The first time i experienced this, i felt so insulted. I thought they treated all women like this but later i realised it was the blacks that were being treated like this. Why? Some black women come over there as prostitues, but does that mean they should take every black girl they see as a prostitute? I felt this was just ignorance. I tried to deal with it but the worst aspect of it was the Indian & Pakistani drivers who think because you are black, they are above you, they also ask you "How much" for your services. This was racism at its highest for me. If it was the UK i would have loved to sue all of them for sexual harrasment but this is UAE were there is no democracy & Human Right Laws.
There was a time when i was walking past, minding my own business & some group of children started following me shouting racists insults & jumping up & down like monkeys. I was angry at them but i blamed their parents more cos they were teaching them to beleive that black were beneath them. I thought to myself, if i start screaming "SUCIDE BOMBER!" to every Arab that passes my way, i would have sinked to their level. And i am much higher than that. I decided to let it go. I would talk more about dubai in some other post.

We black people have been insulted too much. Why? Because of our colour. I think Enough is Enough! We should do something but also remember not to sink to the levels of those who are rascist to us. They are IGNORANT.

FORWARDS

Im sure everybody gets spam e-mails right??? We all know that spam e-mails could be on the list of the most annoying things ever, but i think "FORWARDS" are the worst. This is my opinion. People keep sending me all sorts of jokes & other stuff and ask me to forward it within 5-10 minutes or else i have bad luck for the whole day, or something "good" will happen to me, or what i've been wishing for will happen.
I hope i'm not the only one that finds this annoying. When i started getting forwarded messages like that from people, i used to read them cos i found them funny, but these days, when i open my mailbox & see it, i just delete it without opening it to read. There was a time i sent e-mails to some of my freinds asking them to stop sending me the forwards cos apart from the fact that it became annoying, it takes up too much storage space!!!!! Well it didn't work cos instead of stopping, they sent more. I also realised that sometimes i don't know the sender of the forwards, cos probably the person got my e-mail address from other forwarded messages.
So today, i was going through my mailbox & i saw two messages from one of my freinds. This person is a good freind & i haven't seen her for a while, so even though i'm against all those "forward this to 20 freinds & make a wish & it will come true" messages, i decided to read it. Guess what???? The 1st i found very funny (if you understand what going on in naija) while the other was....................i dunno.............. interesting i think. I was actually happy i didn't delete it before reading. I have decided to share them both with you guyz. The first one has to do with the happenings in naija. Here goes:

Prayer for you today.................you may either say amen or just laugh out amen..................all is allowed...........People will feel you like V-mobile, *May your coast be wide as MTN network, *May you Glo like Globacom, *May your enemies misbehave like Mtel, *May God create confusion in the garden of your enemies like PDP, *May your enemies not understand each other like Obasanjo & Atiku, *May you have victory over your enemies like Ngige, *May you never work in vain like Chris Uba, *May your life continue to increase like Nigeria fuel pump price, *May the glory of God never depart from you as corruption refused to depart from Nigeria, *Armed robbers will never loacte you as America cannot locate Osama Bin Laden, *May the peace of God dwell with you as poverty dwells in Nigeria. Amen


The second forwarded message is all about understanding something written as gibberish. We have to try & decipher it to know how strong our brain power is. I actually found it easy to read & i thought the whole thing was just weird but try to know if you find it easy or difficult to read. Here goes:

I CAN read it, can you? fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55% plepoe can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlays tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Obviously at the end, it says "If you can read this forward it to 30 people", but i didn't bother. I have more important things to do.

ALL ABOUT US (AFRICA) 1

Hey everyone!! Hope you guyz have been good. I've been very ill so for sometime now, i haven't been able to update my blog & i also lost track of what was happening out there in the world. I just found out that a version on Pop Idols/American Idols is going on in our dear continent Africa. I have to admit i was very suprised but i later realised that there was nothing to be suprised about cos we have had loads of stuff happen in Africa like when Big Brother came to us. I actually never got the chance to watch it myself but i was told that it was better than Big Brother UK.
But back to the subject at hand. The show is called "IDOLS WEST AFRICA".
I know that most of you (if not all of you guyz) have heard (i'm like the only one who didn't know about it) about the show. I also found out that it has been on for a while now & that from the 1st of March, the public get the chance to call in & vote for their favourites. I've been to the site & checked out some audition videos and they were hilarious. Some we good while the others were horrible. Reminded me of American idol a lot.
24 contestants have been chosen to go through to the next stage. Here are my fav's so far:


Oluwadolapo Ogunwale


Lara George (KUSH)

Sokari Briggs

Temitayo George

Oge Chigbue