IN PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

L You know, we all tell ourselves that life is too short to be unhappy, to be miserable, etc. I know i say that to myself like everyday but still i'm not doing anything different.

I remember asking my myself, what if i died today, what would i have achieved? What would i be remembered for? Would people miss me? Am i going to go to hell? Each day, i tell myself that i must change things in my life but each time, i realise i'm still doing the same thing i vowed to stop doing. If i died today, what would i have achieved? All i have ever done with my life is go to school, sleep, move from one country to another. Same thing.

I do beleive that God is keeping me alive for some reason or else i would have been dead since. I remember the first experience that i had when i almost looked death in the face was when we (i mean my family) were travelling to some state in 9ja that i don't remember at the moment. I was around 8 because i remember that my last brother was just born then. I was not sitting with my family but away from them. I don't remember why. The plane started having problems because there was bad weather. I remember people in the plane were crying & screaming. Our househelp (she was like part of our family) was clutching my brother & praying & my mother was praying. When it became too much for her, she started crying. I could not see my other sisters or dad. I remember one of the air hostess, walked up to me & buckled my seat belt & said to me, "dont worry, nothing will happen". I did not get what she was on about and i didn't understand why the plane kept shaking. I was not crying, but i was clutching my can drink with brutal force cos i didn't want it to fall cause i liked the drink. I remember, when the plane landed, everybody was clapping & couldn't wait to get off the plane. I would have died that day if not for God. My life is not worth more than the other dead people or the other ones who have died in Plane crashes like the "BELLVIEW" & "SOSOLISO" crashes in 9ja.

Another brush i had was when we came back to 9ja & i got this really bad malaria. I used to laugh because the white people treat malaria as if its cancer, but i stopped it after that. I got so sick that to get up from my bed was a very big problem & i felt as if someone was hitting m head with a hammer because of the headaches. As if that wasn't enough, i ended up being in the same room with a snake. i mean a viper. Only God knows how it entered our house talkless of getting on top of my cupboard. I never knew snakes climbed walls. If my sis did not come into the room & go near the cupbaord, only God can say what would have happenned to me. I thanked God because the snake was in the room with me (the lights were off cos it gave me more headache) for God knows how long & it didn't bite me. So you see, if the snake didn't kill me, the malaria would have killed me for sure but i'm now here blogging about it.

I look back at all this & tell myself things have to change in my life. From now on, i need to do things that i want. I'm tired of doing what everybody wants me to do & i'm tired of being unhappy. I might disappoint some people along the way, & maybe make wrong discisions along the way. But its my life. If i make mistakes, i will learn from them. We don't live life twice in this world (this is my belief) so we have to take control of our destinys. When i finally die, i want to look back at my life (wherever dead people go) & be content with myself. I don't want to be somebody who has so much and still have nothing. I want to leave the earth knowing that i am at peace with myself, that i am no more in pursuit of happiness (because i am now happy) & that i'm somebody my children would be proud of.

P.S- I'm sorry i haven't updated in a while. I started this blog in januaty & i've just had 29 posts. I need to commit more to this blog & i will. At least till i get bored of it.

CHURCH BUSINESS

May is here....Hurray!!!! Not! I know this month just started but i don't see anything special about it. My life has not changed in any way. Still the same........boring... but i just thank God that at least i am alive to see May. With the rate people are dying in the world at the moment, & the amount of disasters that occur each day, one should be very thankful to see each new day. So yeah..........now to get on with what i want to talk about...... CHURCHES. This posts shows my opinion on the flocks of churches in Nigeria. You do not have to agree with me. We all have a right to our own opinions. Here goes: (Excuse the typos)

There has been a rise in the amount of churches in 9ja so one gets confused as to which church to go to. You also see people performing different sorts of miracles. Some i find very hard to believe to be real. I have to admit that i am not a church goer. I think the last time i stepped into a church was back in naija & that was like way back. Me not going to church does not make me less religious than someone who goes to church. Actually i pray very well but i believe in praying at home. No church for me. Why??? Because there are so many things going on at the moment. People perform all sorts of miracles in church, then everybody rushes to that church, then the next thing you know, we find out that they pastor is a ritual killer or something. I remember my mom always used to tell us that it does not matter if the pastor is an adulterer, a ritual killer or whatever, because we are not going to the church to worship the pastor but God but i strongly disagree & i told her that. I believe people's churches & pastors influence them. The church that my parents were going to when i was born was run by this really popular pastor who every one was going on & on about. This pastor died when he was having sex with a woman that wasn't his wife. What does that tell us???
So many things i see put me off going to churches. I don't know if you guyz know about this christian channel called "LOVEWORLD" owned by pastor Chris Oyakilome of CHRIST EMBASSY. I came across this channel a while back & i watch it with intensity. My mom tried making me come to Christ Embassy with her but i refused. Later on, i started watching pastor Chris preach & i was like wow, this guy knows what he is talking about. I was actually tempted to go to the church with my mom (my mom has been to like all the churches in the world i believe) but then i noticed something while watching the LOVEWORLD channel & this put me off. Its not like i'm paranoid or something but my sisters & brothers noticed the same thing as well (they watch the channel also & we all share the same beliefs about the going to church thing). Well i noticed that all the top pastors in the church (including pastor chris himself & his brother Rev ken) all spotted the same hairstyle......Jerry-curled hair. I know some people would say so what??? But the thing is that i have never been to any church (trust me, i have been to laods because of my mom) where all the top pastors spotted the same hair style. Personally, i felt there was something behind it & so did my family (except my mom of cause). Even my dad (he watches the LOVEWORLD channel too) had something to say about it. I just found it absolutely weird & i was like, i'm never going to that church or any other church. Fine they do the miracles, barren women get pregnant, the blind end up seeing but so what??? Sometimes yes the miracles do bring tears to our eyes because you are so happy for the healed people i do find some of the miracles & testimonies dodgy. There was one where a guy said that he was born without testicles & as prayer was going on his testicles appeared fron no where. I'm sorry but i find it incredibly hard to beleive. Did he put his hands insides his pants as the prayers were going on to know if his testicles have reappered? One other woman said that she had lumps in her breasts but as prayers were going on, it dissapeared. Both the man & woman's miracles happned during a crusade as prayer was going on & immediately they recieved their miracles, they came up to the podium to give their testimonies. Did the woman take off her bra in the middle of the crusade to check for the lumps or did the guy put down his pants in the middle of the crusade (mind you there are like thousands of people there) to check if his testicles had reappeared? And can men be alive without their testicles in-tact???? In my previous post, i talked about the guy cutting his penis off. I'm sure he would have been dead if it wasn't reattached in the end so how did this guy live without testicles since he was born? My dad says that sometimes some of the miracles are real while he believes that the other people are paid by the pastors to say they recieved miracles.
I would have to say i'm sorry if this post upsets any church goer or Christ Embassy goer. I know God said we should not judge but there are some things that we see that one just has talk about. I'm not saying going to church is wrong, but i also don't believe that by not going to church, i'm commiting a great sin or my prayers won't be answered by God. This days people use churches as a way of making money thereby decieving the people who come into their churches.

KOLOMENTAL

Hope you guyz are having a great weekend. I had nothing to blog about, so i decided to catch up on the news on Yahoo! I came across the story below. I don't know if you guyz have heard it before but i still wanted to share it. When i read it the first time, i could not help laughing my head off, but then i reread it & stopped laughing. Only God knows what drove a man to run into a restaurant so as to cut his penis off. Well, here is the story:

The man charged into a branch of a pizza and pasta chain Zizzi in a touristic area of central London on Sunday.

"This guy came running in then charged into the kitchen, got a massive knife and started waving it about," diner Stuart McMahon told The Sun newspaper.

"Everyone was screaming and running out as he jumped on a table, dropped his trousers and popped his penis out.

"Then he cut it off. I couldn't believe it."

Police said a man aged 30-40 was injured through self-inflicted wounds. He was taken to a south London hospital.

Zizzi said the knife-wielder was thought to have no connection to the restaurant.

Staff stopped him entering one kitchen, then he ran into a second kitchen area, the chain said in a statement.

"The man then picked up a kitchen knife and slashed himself across the wrist and groin areas before running back into the restaurant, where he continued to stab himself.

"This happened in a matter of seconds and was obviously extremely frightening and distressing for the many customers and staff in the restaurant at the time.

"The police arrived in a matter of minutes and took the man away.

"Apart from the man, we understand that no-one else suffered any physical injuries."


Weird isn't it??? I just found it Bizzare. I'm sure you guyz have heard Faze's "KOLOMENTAL" (great song by the way). I just had to borrow the bit from the song which says "omo na mental case", cos i believe thats the case here.

I've been having problems logging into my blog for a while now. Thats why i have not updated. You guyz should have more patience with me. The end of that story is coming soon, but not now. And Wienna don't let me vex ok??? Make sure you come back for the update & you should open your own blog:)
May the victims of the Virginia Tech massacre Rest In peace (Amen), & may God grant their families the fortitude to bear their losses. As for the Guy that did this (Cho Suing-Hui or whatever his name is..) i pray that he burns in HELL! He killed himself after killing the students & professors. He has escaped justice from this earth but God (the ultimate Judge) is waiting to give him his punishment. I actually read in a newspaper that he came back to check if there were people who were alive so as to finish them off. Can you imagine? Satan really uses people to try & create havoc. The world is coming to an end. We should make Hay while the sun shines. Peace!

xxx Chidi xxx

MARRIED BUT EMOTIONALLY DIVORCED

I read this somewhere so i decided to share it with you guyz. It is a TRUE STORY. It is a bit long but i did not want to cut anything out as its not my story. Here goes (excuse the typos):

Beatrice had always desired a loving relationship with her husband; that enviable relationship that is always common between campus sweethearts. "I have always longed for a loving husband & that was what mattered to me first before considering whether his wallet was fat or not", she began this day, looking worried. She actually spoke softly fighting back tears.


She said that when Okechukwu married her, she thought that she had finally got her wish. "He was all i had, my love, my life, the best thing that ever happened to me, or so i presumed. I wanted nothing else in the world then but him. I could remember the days when he used to call me on the phone & i would shout "Okey" in a loud voice. My mother would run out of her bedroom to warn me to lower my voice so that my strict father would not beat the living day light out of me, for calling a boy's name excitedly."

That goes to show how madly in love i was with Okechukwu. "Yeas i madly in love with him & all i wanted was to get married to my young & handsome lawyer whom i met as a jambite. I looked forward to the day when we would march down the aisle. We dated for 8 good years. I eventually joined okey, as i fondly called him on the same campus. He was 2 years ahead of me."

Beatrice's dream materialised when Okey paid her bride price. "I will never forget the comment my uncle's wife made on the day of my traditional wedding; "you have been all smiles", she remarked.

Beatrice was indeed glowing, very radiant & beautiful in her traditional attire. "I was barely 23 & ripe for marriage. Ripe to be Okey's wife. But i should have known better. the frown on my would be mother in-laws face was strong enough to kill a fly. She sulked as if i forced her son to ask for my hand in marriage. Maybe that was a good sign that all would not be well eventually.

The storm in Beatrice & Okey's marriage started as early as the time they were mean to be honeymooning. "That was when the realities of marriage dawned on me. i wanted to cal my poor mother but i opted not to. Mama was hypertensive. Such news would worsen her health & condition, & a divorce was inconcieviable & a taboo. I could remember her advising me that no matter what hapenned in my marriage, i should stay put & endure it. Her words still ring a bell. "Nne, no matter what happens to you, no matter how bad you are treated by your husband, stay in your marriage, don't leave. This is because such problems do fizzle out in the end. Know that with patience, one would overcome whatever matrimonial problem a woman may have. Every problem has an expiry date."

The first blow the marriage had was caused by Beatricce's in-laws, the elder sister of her husband. "I was called names but the worst happened when my husbdna's elder sister, whom i thought was the only one that liked me in the family also turned against me. She wrote to me & called me names. She never knew that her brother , my husband lost his job few months after our marriage, so that affected their monthly allowance. And without asking what exactly happened, they concluded i told him to stop the allowance."

That made me cry several times as okey did not tell his people the actual position of things. As if that wasn't enough, my husband sided with his people & began to see me as someone who brough ill luck to his house. "He reminded me how i brought the spirit of bad luck to his house & he was sacked from work. There was no name i wasn't called by the same man who told me he loved me & would do anything to make me happy as long as i remained as his wife.

After 7 years, the marriage became unbearable. Her husband made her his punching bag. "He got a job that kept him busy all day. I never complained about that but what hurt me was the fact that he would come home drunk & would beat me up mercilessly at the slightest provocation. Apart from his drinking habit, i also discovered that i had lost my husband to his bevy of girlfreinds & mistresses. If i dared ask him whether he was seeing other women, that would result in another punch. I was afraid of asking questions, afraid of even discussing with hi mas a woman would with her husband. My mind had flashed back repeatedly to that frown on my mother in-laws face on the day of my traditional wedding. Maybe the poor woman foresaw what i was going to suffer in her son's house. If i had known better, i wouldn't have found myself in this hell."

A day came when Beatrice confronted him & gave him a piece of her mind, but something terrible happened immediatley after that. FIND OUT NEXT WEEK.

NAIJA NEWS IN PICS

Loads of stuff have been happening in naija lately. I decided to bring you guyz the news in pics cos i know that it would take me forever to write down everything that has been going on. I have also included some pics of current " SUN GIRLS". To view more pictures of other "SUN GIRLS", visit www.sunnewsonline.com

The Nigerian Police Force have changed their Uniform from the all black to blue and black. Personally, i don't see how changing the uniform of the policemen would improve their performance & stop them collaborating with robbers. Instead of our president (Obasanjo) spending money on new uniforms, why not retain the old ones & use the money he used to get the new ones to pay the Police men so that the crime rate will go down in nigeria? I'm not impressed at all.

Governor Donald Duke has launched the Tinapa Project. The pic above is from the launching. The project includes a Tinapa Studio where i heard films can be made. As usual Obasanjo was there, with his big fat stomach. The man has the whole of naija in his belly.

Governor Donald Duke of Cross River state has really done alot. First he built the Obudu Cattle Ranch which from what i hear is amazing, & then this. I know of course he would be pocketing a bit of money but at least he as done a lot of things that we Nigerians would remember him for. I think he is a good example to most Governors in naija.

The picture above shows an unidentified Local Government official collecting Fuel as he tries to locate the point where a pipeline was vandalized in Lagos. He dosen't look like a local government officail right? Well, the picture shows fuel pipeline investigation, naija style!

The picture above shows Miss Goodnews Udom who is the reigning Miss Akwa Ibom & Miss Lacasera. What do they mean by Miss Lacasera? From what i heard, there is a drink in naija called Lacasera. Is she the queen of the drink or what? Well, the girl said that she goes everywhere with bodyguards because she gets "TOO MUCH" (mark i wrote it in capital letters) attention from guys. Who does she think she is? Britney spears????? Isn't it enough that we have to endure the fact that she is Miss Lacasera?????

This picture shows the girls dormitory at Obafemi Awolowo University (OAU). The dormitories have been in the news alot this days because the girls have to deal with a lot of sexual harrasment & rape from most of the guys. I feel very sorry for them. According to the news, loads of the girls have been attacked lately.

The girl in the pink top is looking at the camera as if she is going to beat up the photograper or something. The girls also live in dirty surroundings as you can see from the picture. I'm sure rats make a big part of the room furniture.

The guy in the picture above is a soldier who murdered another guy over N10 (10 naira). He entered a bus in Lagos and refused to pay the N40 bus fare because he was a soldier. The conductor of the bus told him he had to pay. The guy then payed N30 & decided not to pay the rest. An argument ensued & the soldier slapped the conductor. One of the passengers in the bus told him that he had no right to slap the conductor just because he (the conductor) told him to pay N10. The soldier turned on the passenger & stabbed him to death. Thats naija for you. Lawless!

This is a picture of today's Sun Girl. What's with the background? & didn't anyone tell her that ankle boots are not meant to be worn with the sort of dress she's wearing??? Someone call the Fashion Police!!!!

The picture above shows another Sun Girl. She's cute, don't you guys think???? I have nothing bad to say. Who agrees with me?

Ok, this is another Sun Girl. I've been trying to understand why her hands are up there then i got a brain wave! Maybe she's about to do the Matrix! What do you guys think?

This picture is just sad. This man's wife was killed by young islamists in Gombe state. I first caught the story on Chioma's blog so i checked up on it more on the internet. His wife was a teacher in a school. During an Islamic Exam test, she was the one invigilating the exam. She caught 2 boys who were cheating. One of the boys wrote an Islamic writing from the Quaran on a paper & was passing it to another boy when she caught them. The took the paper away from them and threw it away. After the exam, the boys & the class started chasing her around the school saying she descredited to Quaran. The killed her & burnt her body. She left behind her husband, a 3 yr old son & and also a 10 month old baby (with the father in the Picture). May her soul Rest In Peace. Amen.

NEW MONTH EQUALS NEW THINGS!

Its a new month!! April here i come.I have prayed that this month would be a good one for me. I have to admit, January wasn't a very great month for me. Apart from the fact that i was ill on the 1st of January (sad), that wasn't the only thing that got messed up for me. Loads of stuff has been happening that i am not happy about. I know that we cannot control the daily happenings in our life, but we are in control of our destiny (i believe this strongly) so things will definetely change for me (for the better) by the grace of God.
I just wanted to say a big "THANK YOU" to my fellow bloggers for their words of encouragement. I don't really know you guyz but i feel like i know you well already. I opened this blog out of boredorm, but now things have changed. I was feeling a bit down and that was why i commented on being unappreciated. I think one day, i would bring myself to explain what i meant by that, but i do feel better now (except from the fact that i think i'm getting a fever).
This are my prayers this month:
1) I pray that i don't fall ill cos i feel like i'm about to get a fever (Loads of headaches)
2) I pray someone suprises me in a good way this month (i've never had a suprise before)
3) I pray my dad travels soon
4) I pray he (my dad) buys me a new phone
5) I pray i see the people i have missed alot soon enough
6) I pray i catch up with my school work
7) I pray that the one thing i have been wanting will happen
8) I pray i stop "feeling" altogether
9) I pray i will be "WHOLE" someday
10) I pray that i am more appreciated this month

Well, thats what i have asked God to do in my life this month. When any of those things i have prayed for happens, i will inform you guyz. I hope you guyz have a great month as well.
Onto something else. I heard a story from one of my freinds about some Arab singer called Zekra. Well, according to my freind, this woman was killed in 2003 by her husband. Apparently, she was very popular in the Arab music scene. Well the story goes that she got married to some guy like that. She was already very popular when she married the guy. Enewayz, the bobo was very jealous of her music career, & he banned her from having guyz in her videos. He infact took control on the directing of her videos.
One day, i guess he got so jealous that he took a gun & pumped 26 bullets into her, 22 bullets into her secretary & 18 into her manager. He then shot himself. The woman was from Tunisia and he (her husband) was Egyptian.
I just felt that i had to share this story with you guyz. Its such a shame. I don't know how a man can do that to his own wife. He shot her 26 times!!! i don't get it. Did he hate her, or love her too much, or what???? What made him do it????