Sunday, April 15, 2007

MARRIED BUT EMOTIONALLY DIVORCED

I read this somewhere so i decided to share it with you guyz. It is a TRUE STORY. It is a bit long but i did not want to cut anything out as its not my story. Here goes (excuse the typos):

Beatrice had always desired a loving relationship with her husband; that enviable relationship that is always common between campus sweethearts. "I have always longed for a loving husband & that was what mattered to me first before considering whether his wallet was fat or not", she began this day, looking worried. She actually spoke softly fighting back tears.


She said that when Okechukwu married her, she thought that she had finally got her wish. "He was all i had, my love, my life, the best thing that ever happened to me, or so i presumed. I wanted nothing else in the world then but him. I could remember the days when he used to call me on the phone & i would shout "Okey" in a loud voice. My mother would run out of her bedroom to warn me to lower my voice so that my strict father would not beat the living day light out of me, for calling a boy's name excitedly."

That goes to show how madly in love i was with Okechukwu. "Yeas i madly in love with him & all i wanted was to get married to my young & handsome lawyer whom i met as a jambite. I looked forward to the day when we would march down the aisle. We dated for 8 good years. I eventually joined okey, as i fondly called him on the same campus. He was 2 years ahead of me."

Beatrice's dream materialised when Okey paid her bride price. "I will never forget the comment my uncle's wife made on the day of my traditional wedding; "you have been all smiles", she remarked.

Beatrice was indeed glowing, very radiant & beautiful in her traditional attire. "I was barely 23 & ripe for marriage. Ripe to be Okey's wife. But i should have known better. the frown on my would be mother in-laws face was strong enough to kill a fly. She sulked as if i forced her son to ask for my hand in marriage. Maybe that was a good sign that all would not be well eventually.

The storm in Beatrice & Okey's marriage started as early as the time they were mean to be honeymooning. "That was when the realities of marriage dawned on me. i wanted to cal my poor mother but i opted not to. Mama was hypertensive. Such news would worsen her health & condition, & a divorce was inconcieviable & a taboo. I could remember her advising me that no matter what hapenned in my marriage, i should stay put & endure it. Her words still ring a bell. "Nne, no matter what happens to you, no matter how bad you are treated by your husband, stay in your marriage, don't leave. This is because such problems do fizzle out in the end. Know that with patience, one would overcome whatever matrimonial problem a woman may have. Every problem has an expiry date."

The first blow the marriage had was caused by Beatricce's in-laws, the elder sister of her husband. "I was called names but the worst happened when my husbdna's elder sister, whom i thought was the only one that liked me in the family also turned against me. She wrote to me & called me names. She never knew that her brother , my husband lost his job few months after our marriage, so that affected their monthly allowance. And without asking what exactly happened, they concluded i told him to stop the allowance."

That made me cry several times as okey did not tell his people the actual position of things. As if that wasn't enough, my husband sided with his people & began to see me as someone who brough ill luck to his house. "He reminded me how i brought the spirit of bad luck to his house & he was sacked from work. There was no name i wasn't called by the same man who told me he loved me & would do anything to make me happy as long as i remained as his wife.

After 7 years, the marriage became unbearable. Her husband made her his punching bag. "He got a job that kept him busy all day. I never complained about that but what hurt me was the fact that he would come home drunk & would beat me up mercilessly at the slightest provocation. Apart from his drinking habit, i also discovered that i had lost my husband to his bevy of girlfreinds & mistresses. If i dared ask him whether he was seeing other women, that would result in another punch. I was afraid of asking questions, afraid of even discussing with hi mas a woman would with her husband. My mind had flashed back repeatedly to that frown on my mother in-laws face on the day of my traditional wedding. Maybe the poor woman foresaw what i was going to suffer in her son's house. If i had known better, i wouldn't have found myself in this hell."

A day came when Beatrice confronted him & gave him a piece of her mind, but something terrible happened immediatley after that. FIND OUT NEXT WEEK.

32 comments:

Ugo Daniels said...

hmmm, waiting for next episode, enjoyed this one...so far!

Ugo Daniels said...

and Am FIRST!!!...wats my Prize

Idemili said...

When next week?! We await with bated breath!

yankeenaijachick said...

Punch stories get as it be, l enjoyed it.HOpe u are doing good.

Im A Babe said...

i HATE when a woman is forced or forces herself 2 stay in a marraige thats obviously not workin all in the name of some boogie culture...NIGERIANS PLZ WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE AND LEAVE SOME OF THIS "TRADITION" IN THE DUMPSTA ABEG.

Sorry gurl, i kno alotta pple close 2 my hrt that r goin thru d same shit, so that xplains y im kinda pissed(lol) what happened 2 her? hope he didnt kill her! hurry up and update abeg

bimbylads said...

oga o.. marriage sha... pls hurry up and update..MEN upset me sometimes

so-obscure said...

"...no matter what happens to you, no matter how bad you are treated by your husband, stay in your marriage, don't leave..."

Terrible and horrible advice from a mother to her daughter...
The daughters' corpse will be brought home one day...

יושה (Yosh) said...

I've got to spend more time digesting this post and be back to make a suitable comment! :) I see I've missed so much.

Nyemoni said...

Nice article... I'll reserve my comments until next week... And exactly when next week if I may ask?

dolly said...

Nice post

thanks for stopping by my blog

Naija Vixen said...

nice article...shame oh...waitn for update!

ijeoma obu iheoma said...

OK.. AM pissed..the idea that an umarried girl brings disgrace to her family is a taboo that we need to start destroying.. what a hell.imagine advising your daughter to stay in a hellish marriage for appearance purposes.what happens if he eventually kills her.. And the husband. what an ass. blame the woman, for your troubles..weaklings.

Simply Gorgeous said...

I have read this story online in one of the naija newspapers. I think it was cruel of him to abandon his wife and also to allow his family to maltreat her.

Then he decides to pummel her. No, that would have been it for me. He would have seen divorce papers from me.

I will tell anybody that is willing to listen. I am not meant to suffer-PERIOD!!

princess said...

Its painful but it happens everyday. Sadly, its the kind of culture we live in-The men are always right.
It will only change when women begin to stand up and say-"E don do!"
Thanks Chidi for stopping by.

adumaadan - Blacktinkerbell said...

wow! how does a woman find the strength to stay in this kind of situation? waiting for part 2

Vickii said...

All you people that start a story and leave us hanging ... please update part 2 soon so we can see how this ends. I have a feeling it won't be good though!

TaureanMinx said...

Its already next week oh!

bibi said...

mehnnnnnnnnnnn update ooo

when they were just about to start honeymoon..mehn am scred of gettong married

Beyond said...

Nice post; don't really have anything fair to say about men now, so i will reserve my comments.

wienna said...

We're still waiting o. What's going on now?

wienna said...

We're still waiting o. What's going on now?

Sparkle said...

Oya now, next week don come!!!
UPDATE!!!
All we are saying, update this blog!!!
lol

Klara said...

Sad..Really..Such stories give me cold shoulders on Marriage! I feel sorry for this woman! It's a depressing state she is in! My prayers are with her!
I hope she survives in Episode 2

The Blahnik Diva said...

just read it!
apparently part 2 is late
where is part 2
reminds me of Hint s magazine stories though

wienna said...

What da heck is dis nitori Jesu? i've made ma mind up, i aint coming here anymore.

Afrik said...

I wonder why some naija men think it is ok to punch their wives, nd when they get into a fight with their mates outside, or even much more younger guys,dey will chicken out, nd even if dey dnt chicken, dey will sure bring swollen face home. Why can't dey go the boxing ring nd fight their mates there.Nonsense men.Nice emotional story, but is just so sad. We waiting oh.

Chameleon said...

oh dear... i've got goosepimples.

waiting patiently...

~Mimi~ said...

wow...women in this world have suffered o..makes me want to cry sometimes when i think of how beautiful and strong we are, and yet go through so much suffering..
pls conclude o...

p.s. thanks for the liking my blog :)

dairy of a G said...

WUP? whats deep

anijawife said...

Sebi na nijawife dey do drama and tell stories,thats the main issue iam trying to bring to the knowledge of my fellow blogger and no be dem say iam experiencing it though differently but women abuse in any way is not good.On culture and the society is not helping matter and if you say anything you are called a prostitute who doesnt want to stay in a man's house and that your grandmother experience worst things and stay put and see no reason why you want to disgrace your family as if na the family dey bear the humiliation and pains.

C'est Moi said...

Okechukwu is a coward, like most men who beat their wives, His life sucks and so he takes it out on the only good thing in his life. Some men can be such idiots

Omosewa said...

I hope she spoke to her legs and left the marriage before getting killed!!!